Sunday, March 6, 2016

The Last Baby

        I haven't blogged in a while. Life seems to get extremely busy whenever I promise myself to keep up with a blog. I've had many blogs before this over the years that I either forgot about, lost the password, or the passion for. This one seems to be certainly different. Even though my posts are really spaced, I think about writing a new post a few times a week. It just unfortunately never happens. Raising four beautiful babies might have a big part in my lack of writing, but I can't use that as an excuse with so many wonderful mamas' spreading their passions and sharing their lives through the web. Then it dawned on me. I really never know what to write about. Well, tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks.

        As I was sitting on the floor skimming through youtube videos on my Mac of how to DIY my own industrial light fixture for my dinning room, I was getting little kicks from tiny (but not so little anymore) itty bitty baby feet. Junior, our fourth child, was playing and having a ball enjoying his new activity mat as I sat beside him. I can hear him giggle and coo at the little jungle animals hanging about the arches of the brightly colored Little Einstein's mat. He is almost three months old already and I still don't understand how he grew so fast and got so big. He will be the big three March 19th and he is already wearing nine month old sized clothing. When you post something like that on Facebook you'll get a bunch of other moms chime in to tell you how big their new baby is or how big their old baby was. I feel like being a seasoned parent and even a new mom can give you bragging rights as to the development of your child but I will never brag on this subject because it makes me nothing but sad.

        He is growing. He is growing far too quickly and sometimes I even want to cry thinking how just a few weeks ago I carried him safe and sound in the comfort of my womb. He's not only out in the world with a multitude of dangers and illnesses but thats not really what I'm so sad about. He is growing. He is slowly but way too quickly getting older. His infant stages are breezing by and I can't stand it. I might sound emotional but that is only because he is our last. He is our last baby. To say that, is pretty upsetting. There is such a sadness knowing that you will never feel those kicks on the inside anymore. No more flutters. No more bubbles and spins. No more ever so carefully watching every single thing you put into your body because another human being's life depends on it. No more growing something so special only love and God can make. No more wondering what color eyes they will have, who they will look like, what color hair they will have and if it will be fine or wavy. No more babies.

        Now you have children. Your babies will grow and get older, and there is no more turning back the hand of time to have another pregnancy experience. This is it. But.. Now you have children. And they will grow and you get to experience new and exciting, overwhelming, scary, strange, invigorating, and proud moments to share with them. But most of all you get to watch them grow. So, as I look over to the left of me, still kicking and giggling, my last baby is right in front of me. And come to think of it, I am pretty happy about it.

Cherish your babies. They grow.

 Smiles & Dimples 

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